love.
what is love?
is it a placebic feeling
that one gets when
they smile thinking about him?
is it the feeling one gets
when he’s trapped in your mind 24/7?
is it the headache you get from
being so in love that you forget?
forget about everything around you?
forget about yourself?
it’s like you get lost in this kind of parallel universe
that revolves around only you and him
and all the fantasies become real.
your imagination soon becomes reality,
but only for a moment
until you come back to the realization
that it was all in your head,
that you’ll never get a chance
because he was never real.
love.
what is it exactly?
explanation:
For this poem, I challenged myself to think of a word and just write about it without stopping until I finish. For the most part, this poem is unedited and each line is the first thing that came into my mind as I was writing. The lines, “it’s like you get lost in this kind of parallel universe…your imagination soon becomes reality,” describe how when you’re so in love, you tend to forget about everything around you and get lost in a sensational feeling. The lines, “ that you’ll never get a chance because he was never real,” mean that the person you think of in your head is different from who they actually are. We create a version of them that we feel is ideal but it isn’t actually them in reality, most of the time. I chose love as the topic of my poem because sometimes, the concept of it can be confusing to understand, which is why I referred to it as a “placebic feeling,” because is it just something you want and force yourself to feel? Or is it a genuine feeling someone gets because of a certain someone?
Citations:
Dear Neha,
This piece was actually really well done. If you take into consideration the fact that you wrote all of this without stopping, and it’s mostly unedited, this is really good writing. I feel like this is a concept that almost everyone can relate to, because as you said, “We create a version of them that we feel is ideal but it isn’t actually them in reality, most of the time.” This is something that I am guilty of, and there are, no doubt, so many other people that have done the same thing.
I really liked how you left the question that you asked at the beginning of your poem unanswered at the end. It makes the reader really think and wonder about the concept of love.
In terms of improvement, I think you should try to organize your writing a little bit more. I felt like you could have used better words in some of the sentences. For example, “forget about everything around you, forget about yourself.” This line kind of threw me off a little while I was reading it, just because it didn’t match the flow of the rest of the poem.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece and I look forward to reading some of your future works.
Sincerely,
Gurman
Dear Gurman, I’m glad you enjoyed this poem. I do agree that I could have used better words and this poem might have sounded a bit rushed. Poems generally aren’t my thing which is why this might have sounded a bit simple. Thanks for your feedback!
Sincerely,
Neha
Dear Neha,
I absolutely love this piece! I especially enjoyed the fact that you incorporated how most of us glorify the ones we love. We make them seem so incredible, so much more ideal and perfect than who they really are. Leaving us with someone who we don’t even know anymore, leaving us with someone that, “was never real.”
I really liked this poem, and how much you were able to present so much in such few words. I look forward to reading more of your future posts!
Sincerely, Amulya
Dear Amulya,
I’m glad you enjoyed this poem and it means a lot as poems aren’t really my thing and I may not be good at writing them. Thanks for your feedback!
Sincerely,
Neha